Here’s the problem I keep running into, in my own life and in every conversation I have about love: Most of what we call love was never chosen. It was inherited.

Solomon puts it starkly: “Family dysfunction is like fire in the woods that rolls generation to generation, taking everything in its path, until one person has the courage to face the flame.”

Long before we ever decide what love means, we’re already living inside someone else’s definition of it. And the only way out is to actually look at it. Not perform around it. Look at it.

Recently, I published two FUNCK Method posts back-to-back on my private Substack, straight out of my BeMo Journal. I didn’t plan for them to build on each other, but they did, and it wasn’t until the second one was live that I realized where my real work had actually been happening the whole time: right in the middle of the You Note, the second part of the FUNCK Method. I’d responded to myself with everything I needed to feel seen, heard, known, the way a true best friend would. And in that response, I also heard what no longer sat with me. What no longer served me. The versions of love I’d been performing without ever realizing it was a performance.

You can read that post here → CassandraStark.com or click on it below

In Light of Knowing

What It Looks Like to Talk About the Same Thing Over and Over

One of the questions I get asked often is what to do when something is prolonged. People often feel like they’re doing it wrong when they arrive on the page in therapy — or in their own practice — and their mind wants to tell them it is the same, I already wrote about this, I already dealt with this…

Read more

4 days ago · Cassandra Stark

Some of what I found in that You Note, I want to keep. Such as writing,

The way I responded to his letter was the utmost love, support, kindness, security.

When I check in with myself, I Know that’s true. I was being genuine. I was choosing a response, an INTERaction, not REacting to a moment. That one, I get to keep.

But other lines in that same note, I recognized as something else entirely. I wrote:

You never missed a chance to travel with him. You pushed through a lifetime of pain and moved past making it anyone’s fault. You stopped talking to the people who exacerbated your reactions. You boldly uninvited people from your life and space.

Every one of those, at the time, was proof. Proof that I loved him. Proof that I cared. Rereading it now, I Can see they have nothing to do with him at all. They were choices I made: to travel with someone, to let go of pain, to protect my own peace. That’s what I call “need to” energy in BeMo. “Need to” is externalized. As I said it above, it’s proof and therefore it’s performative and proving. The moment I hand that - to travel, to let go, to protect - to someone else and say I did this for you, it curdles into resentment. Those choices served me. They were never proof I owed anyone.

But that doesn’t mean they meant nothing or that they were wrong. I also said:

I travelled toward him.

In The BeMo Practice I encourage people to change “need to’s” into part of their Cans list - to reveal empowered choices. When restated and recognized, what I was really saying is: I Can travel with someone. I Can let go of pain. I Can protect my own piece. And that’s real. It wasn’t about him. It was about me. To show up in that way is to meet a real need for love. Self-love.

How to tell if the love you’re giving is actually BS (a belief system)

Solomon has a name for this work: relational self-awareness, which she defines as “understanding in a deep and heartfelt way how you ‘show up’ for love.” Her tool for doing it is a process she calls Name-Connect-Choose: “Name: Call the past what it is, with honesty about how you were or are impacted. Connect: Allow yourself to feel the impact of the past without judgment. Choose: Consciously choose love again and again.” It’s almost the same shape as the FUNCK Method. Feel it, deal with it, reveal where it came from, heal it on purpose. Two different languages for the same excavation.

Here’s the test I actually use now: is this an INTERaction or a REaction?

A REaction is externalized.

I need to make the coffee, I need to clean the house, I need to set out the vitamins.

Underneath it, whether we say it out loud or not, is proof, performance, defense. Earning love.

Solomon maps this exactly: secondary feelings (angry, agitated, irritable, disrespected) versus primary feelings (sad, ashamed, lonely, inadequate). Reactive versus vulnerable. A linear conflict story versus a systemic one.

An INTERaction starts somewhere else entirely: I have a need for love and kindness, and I get to meet myself with it, regardless of anyone else’s response, regardless of whether the coffee is ever taken.

Here’s the smaller, quieter exampleof love I wrote about:

Making him coffee before he was awake. Setting out his vitamins, every single day, for years.

Those were real kindnesses. It made me smile to do them, they never took anything from me, and he could simply receive them or not. That was how I chose to love him. But somewhere along the way, choice can calcify into routine, and routine can quietly swallow the need it was meeting in the first place. I learned that pattern watching my mother: the vitamins, the spotless house, dinner on the table at the same hour every night. Real love, all of it. But when the need underneath gets left behind, love turns into resentment, resentment turns into servitude, and servitude turns into burnout. The same act can look identical on the outside and be two completely different things depending on where it’s coming from. As Solomon writes: “the first step toward greater empowerment, authenticity, and wholeness is becoming aware that early events in your life led you to be cast in a role that no longer serves you.”

The clearest place I saw this was a story I told myself in that same You Note, about the time I spent more money than I had on a gift, because that was how I knew to say I care about you, I want you safe, I want you prepared.

Every intention was right. But I did it at my own expense, and it wasn’t received the way I’d hoped, and there was a REaction.

Looking back, the version of me who’d met her own need first would have stayed inside her budget and simply told him what she was thinking and given him the choice. Nothing I did there was wrong, exactly. But it reminds me of every time I’ve lost the plot of why I’m showing up, and how. When I’m not starting from my own need, a need that doesn’t require being received to be complete, I default to learned behavior. A belief system I picked up early: that love meant giving more than you have. I learned that watching my parents. I learned it watching some of my sibling’s relationships too, not because it was wrong for them, but because that’s what a child watching from the outside absorbs. And the thing I also learned, watching those relationships long enough, is that the gifts never guaranteed anything. As Solomon puts it: “All we can ever truly control is what we are bringing into a relationship.” Not what it earns us. Just what we bring.

Prompts for if you want to do this work too

Straight from Loving Bravely:

Ask Yourself:

• In what ways am I being held back by beliefs and stories that do not serve me?

• In what ways am I feeling and acting from a place of old wounds?

• What can I do to shift to a place of empowerment?

• What did the people who raised me show me about the space between stimulus and response?

• How did the adults in my life manage their feelings of upset, irritation, and anger?

• What sorts of low-road behaviors were most common in my house growing up?

And one from me, a BeMo Journal prompt to sit with this week:

• Write your earliest memory of watching love happen, between anyone, in any form, that you had a front-row seat to. Don’t interpret it yet. Just tell it.

How I’m working through it

None of this is about self-blame. Solomon’s whole point, and mine, is that these were acts of love. Real ones. The work isn’t deciding they were wrong. It’s noticing where the need underneath got lost, and choosing, on purpose, to meet that need directly instead of performing it into someone else’s hands. That’s the difference between REacting from an old belief system and INTERacting from a need I actually own.

“We must know, understand, and love ourselves with such devotion and ferocity that the love of another serves as an extension, a mirror, and a validation of that love.”

That’s where I’m headed. Not away from love. Toward the version of it that doesn’t need proof.

If this resonated with you

You don’t need my story to do this work. Learn The BeMo Practice with the guide at the front of The BeMo Journal, or apply it to writing you’re already doing, to how you speak, or as an art practice. How you meet yourself isn’t the point. The practice is the point.

Shop the Journal

Join the Community for the deep dive course into The BeMo Practice, plus:

• Weekly silent writing sessions

• Monthly guided BeMo Practice sessions

• Workshopping & AMA with author and creator Cassandra Stark

• BeMo Nidra night practice for sleep

• A monthly creative writing & art group

Not about a place. About a person. A friendship. A working relationship. A partnership. The kind of connection where something feels off and you can’t quite name it, but your body knows. Your quiet moments know. You know, even if you’re not ready to say it out loud yet.

In Light of Knowing

Should I Stay or Should I Go Now

At the start of July, I went away. I asked a question, steering as far from an ultimatum as possible when, really, that was never the point. It really was just a question. And then I left to hold space for my own answer…

Read more

a month ago · 4 likes · Cassandra Stark

That post resonated with a lot of you. And what stood out to me in the messages I received wasn’t the specific situations. It was how similar the feeling was underneath all of them:

“I know something isn’t right. I just don’t trust myself to make the call.”

I want to sit with that for a minute. Because I think that sentence, I don’t trust myself, is actually the whole thing. That’s the real issue underneath the relationship question. It’s not really about the other person. Not yet. It’s about you, and whether you’ve lost touch with your own voice somewhere along the way.

And that’s exactly what The BeMo Practice is here for.

BeMo Is a Coming-Home Practice

I want to ground us in this before we go any further, because it matters for everything else I’m going to say.

BeMo is a wellness practice. And at its core, what it does, what it has always done, is teach you how to stay with yourself.

That might sound simple. It’s not. Most of us have gotten very good at abandoning ourselves. We abandon ourselves when we say yes and mean no. We abandon ourselves when we swallow our feelings to keep the peace. We abandon ourselves when we look to everyone around us for confirmation of what we already know inside.

BeMo is the practice that brings you back. Again and again and again. Through writing, through speaking it out, through honest reflection. However you practice, the purpose is the same: you’re checking in with yourself. Not once. Not only when things hit a breaking point. Regularly. As a practice. The way you’d practice anything you wanted to get better at.

And when you practice staying with yourself, something really beautiful starts to happen. You begin to see, clearly, without all the noise, what you’re staying with in your relationships, too.

That’s the question underneath the question. It’s not just should I stay or should I go. It’s: Am I staying with myself inside this relationship? Or have I left myself behind to keep it going?'

Why This Is So Hard (And Why That’s Okay)

I want to be gentle here because I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to have this figured out.

Relationships are complicated. They’re not math problems. They don’t have to add up to an expectation or perception. They aren’t always balanced.

The people we love and care about, even the ones who are hurting us, are not villains in a story. They’re human beings, and so are we, and the space between two people is always going to be messy sometimes.

So if you’re sitting with a relationship that feels heavy right now and you don’t know what to do about it, that’s okay. You don’t have to know today.

What you can do is start paying attention. And that’s where the practice comes in.

Using BeMo to Find Your Staying Power

When I say “staying power,” I don’t mean the ability to endure. I don’t mean white-knuckling your way through a relationship that’s hurting you and calling that strength.

I mean the power that comes from staying with yourself. Staying present with your own feelings. Staying honest about your own experience. Staying rooted in your own values even when a relationship is making that hard.

The BeMo Practice builds that staying power. Here’s how it works when you bring it to a relationship you’re struggling with.

Start with your body.

Before you try to think your way through this, feel your way in.

The next time you’re about to see this person, or right after you’ve spent time with them, just pause. You don’t need to do anything complicated. Just notice.

How does your body feel? Are you tense? Tight? Are your shoulders doing that thing where they creep up toward your ears? Does your stomach feel knotted?

Or do you feel easy? Open? Like yourself?

This is information. Really important information. Most of us skip right over it because we’ve been taught that feelings need to be justified before they’re allowed to matter. They don’t. Your body doesn’t need a reason. It’s just telling you the truth.

Capture that. Write it down, say it into a voice memo, talk it through with yourself. Not what you think about the person. What you feel in their presence. You’re coming back to yourself here. You’re practicing staying with what’s real for you.

Get honest.

This is the part of the practice where you let yourself say the thing you’ve been editing.

We do this all the time, right? We soften. We qualify. We say “I’m a little frustrated” when what we actually mean is “I feel invisible in this relationship and it’s been breaking my heart for longer than I want to admit.”

However you practice BeMo, whether you write it or speak it or sit with it quietly, this is the moment to stop editing. To let yourself hear your own unfiltered truth. It’s just you, coming back to yourself. Telling yourself what’s real.

Try finishing these sentences and let whatever comes out, come out:

• After spending time with this person, I usually feel...

• The thing I’m most afraid to say out loud about this relationship is...

• If I’m being really, truly honest, this relationship makes me feel ______ about myself.

This is you, staying with yourself. Even when what you find there is uncomfortable. Especially then.

Listen to what you’ve been asking for.

This one is important, so stay with me.

Think about the things you find yourself complaining about in this relationship. The things you ask for. The things you keep bringing up that never seem to change. The things that a negative society might call “nagging.” I really dislike that word, by the way, because usually what people dismiss as nagging is just an unmet need being voiced for the hundredth time because it’s never been heard.

Maybe you’ve said things like:

“You never support me.”
“I’m always cut out. Like I don’t even belong in this family.”
“You don’t ever champion me.”
“You never ask me about my life or my day.”

Now, here’s what I want you to do. Look at those sentences and pull out the needs hiding inside them. Because that’s what they are. Every complaint, every repeated ask, every frustrated plea is a need trying to get met.

I have a need for... support.
I have a need for... belonging.
I have a need for... championing.
I have a need for... communication. To be asked. To be seen.

If you have a BeMo Journal, open it to the front. In the Needs Glossary you’ll find a whole list of core values and needs right there. Some of them might surprise you. We’re not just talking about the big obvious ones. We’re talking about things like Adventure. Teamwork. Beauty. Regulation. Sexual Expression. Real, specific, human needs that you are fully allowed to have.

Find yours. Name them.

Now flip it toward yourself.

If you only do one thing from this entire post, I want you to do this one.

Take those needs you just named, the ones you’ve been asking someone else to meet, and turn them toward yourself.

I want you to be really honest here. This isn’t about blame. It’s not about letting the other person off the hook. It’s about coming back to yourself, which is always what this practice is about.

Ask yourself:

How and where do I show up for myself in this way?

If your need is support: How am I supporting myself? Am I backing myself up? Am I making choices that support the life I actually want? Or am I abandoning myself and then being devastated when someone else does the same?

If your need is belonging: How am I tapping into my own sense of belonging? Do I even feel at home with myself? Have I created spaces where I belong, or am I relying on one relationship to give me that feeling?

If your need is championing: How do I champion myself? Do I celebrate my own wins? Do I speak well of myself, even privately? Or am I waiting for someone else to do that before I believe it’s true?

If your need is communication: How do I communicate with myself? Am I willing to ask myself about my day? To actually check in? To be honest about how I’m doing, not just the surface-level “I’m fine” version, but the real version? Am I willing to capture that? To write it down, to say it out loud, to let it be real?

This is the heart of The BeMo Practice. This is what it means to stay with yourself. Because here’s what I’ve found, and what I think you’ll find too:

When you start meeting your own needs, you get a lot clearer about what you’re actually asking from the people around you. And you get a lot clearer about who is capable of showing up and who isn’t.

That clarity? That’s your staying power. That’s you, coming home to yourself and seeing the whole picture from a place of honesty instead of desperation.

Check in with your values.

Once you’ve done that work, take it one step further. Look at your core values. The Needs Glossary in the front of your BeMo Journal is a great place to start if you’re not sure what yours are. You might find that your values include things you hadn’t thought to name before: things like beauty, rest, adventure, regulation, creative expression, teamwork, autonomy.

Then ask yourself two questions:

Does this relationship honor those values?

Do I honor my own values when I’m around this person?

Because sometimes the relationship itself isn’t the problem. Sometimes the problem is who we become inside of it. We shrink. We perform. We people-please. We slowly stop being ourselves because being ourselves felt like too much of a risk.

That’s you, leaving yourself. And The BeMo Practice is how you notice that you’ve left. It’s the path that walks you back home.

Take one brave step.

I’m not going to tell you to stay or go. That’s not my call to make, and honestly, it’s rarely that black-and-white anyway.

But I will say this: once you’ve done the work of coming back to yourself, once you’ve listened to your body, told yourself the truth, named your needs, and turned them inward, you’ll know what the next step is. Maybe not the final step. But the next one.

Maybe it’s a conversation you’ve been avoiding. The kind where you say the real thing, kindly and clearly, and see if the relationship can hold honesty. Some can. That’s worth finding out.

Maybe it’s a boundary. Not a wall, a boundary. A way of protecting your peace without disappearing.

Maybe it’s giving yourself permission to create some distance. Quietly. Without drama. Just a gentle shift of your time and energy toward the relationships that help you stay with yourself instead of the ones that pull you away.

And sometimes, yes, it’s letting go. With sadness. With love, even. With the understanding that a relationship ending doesn’t mean it failed. It means it finished. Those are different things.

Whatever it is, name it. Make it real.

A Soft Word About Grief

You’re allowed to grieve a relationship that hasn’t ended yet.

You can grieve what it used to be. You can grieve the version of it you hoped for. You can grieve the distance between what it is and what you needed it to become.

Grief isn’t only for endings. It lives anywhere something is shifting. And if you’re carrying this question around, something is already shifting, whether you’ve made a move or not.

Let your BeMo Practice hold that. That’s part of what it’s for. A place to put the heavy things down so you can see them clearly, feel them fully, and then decide what comes next from honesty instead of fear.

You keep coming back to yourself. That’s the practice. And every time you do, you get a little more clarity, a little more trust in your own voice, a little more of that staying power that makes everything else possible.

💛 I'd love to hear from you. What's one need you've been asking someone else to meet that you realize you might not be meeting for yourself? Drop just one word or sentence in the comments below.

Leave a comment

You’re Not Doing This Alone

In our BeMo Self-Care Book Club, we’re reading The Company We Keep by right now, and if this post stirred something up for you, this book will meet you right where you are. It’s about looking honestly at the relationships in our lives and understanding how the company we keep shapes the person we’re becoming.

The conversations happening inside the paid BeMo Community around this book have been tender and real and deeply supportive. It’s a room full of people doing this same work: learning to stay with themselves so they can show up more honestly in every relationship they’re in.

If that sounds like something you need right now, I’d love to have you with us.

👉 Join the BeMo Community at BeMoJournal.com/Community

The BeMo Practice won’t make this decision for you. But it will bring you back to the one person whose voice matters most in this conversation: yours.

And the more you practice staying with yourself, the clearer everything else becomes. Including who deserves to stay with you.

Leave a comment

For a long time, many of us believed that loving someone deeply meant carrying more.

We carried the emotional labor.
We carried the remembering.
We carried the planning.
We carried the awareness.
We carried the conversations nobody wanted to have.
We carried the consequences of things that were never ours — because it felt easier than watching someone we loved struggle beneath them.

It felt like protection.
It felt like devotion.
It felt like love.

But eventually, something began to feel heavy.

Not because we loved them less.

Because we were carrying things that never belonged to us.

The Difference Between Supporting and Carrying

There is a distinction that doesn’t get talked about enough, and it’s one that changes everything once you see it.

Supporting says:
“I am with you.”
“I believe you can hold this.”

Carrying communicates:
“I will do it for you.”
“I don’t believe you can.”

Sometimes we carry because we are afraid.

Afraid they will fail.
Afraid they will suffer or be embarrassed.
Afraid they will leave.
Afraid that if we stop compensating, everything will collapse.

Sometimes, the people we love become so accustomed to us carrying things that the moment we set them down, it feels like abandonment.

But setting down what isn’t ours isn’t abandonment. It’s truth. It’s trust. It’s Knowing that another person is capable of doing hard things and facing difficult emotions, hard conversations, and life’s ebbs and flows. It’s Knowing we are safe regardless of what others close to us choose for themselves.

This is perhaps the most difficult thing to add to your Knowing. It’s something that can change everything, as I found in my own healing journey and recently started to write about here:

In Light of Knowing

What Was Never Mine To Carry

When I first stepped into the core of my healing journey, I had no idea that one day The BeMo Practice would be born from it…

Read more

2 months ago · 5 likes · Cassandra Stark

When Accountability Gets Confused for Criticism

Here’s where it gets complicated.

When we finally start to set things down, we often don’t do it in silence. We name it. We say, "This isn’t mine." I’ve been carrying this, and I can’t keep doing it.

And sometimes, the person we say it to hears something very different.

They hear judgment.
They hear rejection.
They hear: You are broken. You are a problem. You have failed me.

This is the place where we have a need for honesty:

There is a difference between abusive criticism and healthy accountability.

And that difference matters — not just for the person receiving it, but for the person saying it.

Abusive criticism says:

“You are the problem.”
“Something is wrong with you.”
“You need to become different for me to be okay.”
“I will keep pressing until you agree with me.”

Holding someone accountable says:

“This is yours.”
“This is the impact it has on me.”
“This is what I am no longer willing to carry.”
“What you do with that information is your choice.”

The distinction is not about whether someone feels hurt.

People can feel hurt by accountability.
People can feel shame when no shame was intended.
People can feel criticized when someone simply names reality.

The distinction is where the responsibility lands.

Abusive criticism tries to make the other person responsible for your Feelings – your regulation, your worth, or your happiness.

Healthy accountability returns responsibility to its rightful owner.

A Real-World Example

Here’s the difference in practice:

Abusive criticism:
“You never show up for me. You’re never there. I always have to…”

Healthy accountability:
“Hey, I want to ask you about something. And maybe I am misunderstanding things here because it isn’t what I’m used to, but I feel hurt and sometimes a little disregarded when I tell you about something really difficult for me, and it just seems shrugged off as no big deal. You are important to me. I have a need for connection in that moment; for being shown up for. I stop feeling safe in that connection when it happens consistently. Can you tell me what’s going on for you in that moment? I’d love to know.”

One attacks identity.
The other describes behavior and, in very difficult conversations, consequences.

The Question That Helps

When I’m in the thick of it — when something feels urgent, when I need to say something, when I can feel myself reaching toward the other person — the most honest question I can ask isn’t about them at all.

It’s this:

“What need am I trying to meet right now — and am I trying to meet it from within, or am I trying to get them to meet it for me?”

Because here’s what I’ve learned:

You are not your partner’s therapist.
You are not responsible for their growth.
And they are not responsible for your regulation.

When your needs are met within a relationship, when that need is met by someone else, that is a gift. It is the icing on the cake and the cherry on top. But it will never replace the need to overlook meeting your own needs.

Since creating The BeMo Practice, I’ve been great at meeting my needs. I’ve utilized the hyper-independence that came from trauma to create a ladder to climb out of holes created by learned behaviors and victim/hero/martyr mentality. Every time I practiced, I did better. I learned more. I practiced the very things that would help me let go of the rigid clutch on hyper-independence and instead open up to the vulnerability necessary for true connection. I started to become increasingly grateful for the “cherry on top” needs met through connecting with others – laughter in friendship, a listening ear, a cooked meal, a cleaned house, and so much more. But here’s the crux, what you Know may not yet be what someone else knows or is growing toward. That is not your journey. It is not your responsibility. When you lay down what you once thought was protection and instead churn up more of a fight, it can feel overwhelming and entirely confusing. It doesn’t mean you did it wrong. It doesn’t mean the protection is gone. It doesn’t mean the responsibility is yours. It means you’ve entered a new level of your healing journey and found new growing pains.

When we walk into a hard conversation hoping the other person will finally see, finally get it, finally validate what we’ve been experiencing, we’ve already externalized something that was ours to hold.

That’s not a character flaw.
That’s a very human thing to do.

But it creates chaos.

Every time.

Because the moment your sense of resolution, connection, or safety depends on what someone else does with what you say, you’ve handed the keys to your nervous system over to someone who was never meant to have them.

The need for connection is real.
The need to show up honestly in your relationships is real.

But meeting those needs begins within.

It begins with asking:

• Am I connected to myself right now?

• Am I showing up from a grounded place, or a desperate one?

• Am I speaking because I am meeting a core need by honoring what’s true for me — or because I need them to respond in a specific way for me to feel okay?

If the answer is the latter, the conversation isn’t ready yet.

Not because you don’t deserve to have it.

But because you deserve to have it from solid ground.

What You Can Say Instead

If you’ve been struggling to find language that is honest without being harmful, here’s something to try:

“I Know that some of what I say may sound similar to criticism you’ve experienced before. I understand why that would be painful.

But my intention isn’t to convince you that you’re bad or broken. My intention is to be honest about what I experience, what affects me, and what I can and cannot continue carrying.”

When Pain Recognizes Itself Before It Recognizes Reality

The hardest part of all of this is something that deserves its own space.

Sometimes, people who have been deeply criticized in life experience accountability as criticism.

Sometimes, people who have spent years over-functioning for others experience boundaries as cruelty.

Neither experience automatically tells us what is actually happening.

The question isn’t: “Do they feel criticized?”

The question is: “Am I asking them to carry what is theirs, while carrying what is mine?”

If the answer is yes, then you may still be loving someone deeply — while refusing to continue protecting them from the consequences of their own choices.

That isn’t abandonment.

It’s the place where love stops rescuing and starts respecting another person’s responsibility.

Love Doesn’t Ask Us to Abandon Ourselves

Love doesn’t ask us to rescue someone from every consequence.
Love doesn’t ask us to carry another person’s half forever.

Sometimes love asks us to stand beside someone and trust that they are capable of carrying what is theirs.

Even when they don’t believe it.
Even when they wish we would continue carrying it for them.
Even when they mistake our boundary for a withdrawal of love.

Because the deepest form of love is not always protection.

Sometimes it’s respect.
Sometimes it’s trust.
And sometimes it’s finally setting down the weight that was never ours to carry.

Take It Into Your BeMo Practice

This week’s BeMo prompt invitation:

Think of something you’ve been carrying in a relationship that may not be yours.

Use your BeMo Journal to explore:

• What are you carrying that belongs to someone else?

• What fear is underneath your willingness to keep carrying it?

• What would you need to believe about them — and yourself — to set it down?

• What’s the difference between the accountability you want to offer and the control you might be reaching for?

You don’t have to have the answer right away. That’s what the practice is for.

Leave a comment

Want to Go Deeper?

Cassandra shares the more personal, behind-the-scenes side of navigating these exact dynamics — including what it looks like when the people we love are dealing with wounds that make accountability feel like an attack — over on her personal Substack 👉 CassandraStark.Substack.com

It’s raw, it’s real, and if you’ve ever wondered “how does she actually use BeMo in her own life?” — that’s where you’ll find it.

If this piece resonated with you, you’re exactly who this space was built for.

The #BeMoJo Community is a place for people who are done just understanding their patterns — and are ready to actually shift them. Through guided BeMo journaling events, honest conversations, and a community of people who get it, we go further together than we ever could alone.

Here’s what’s waiting for you when you subscribe:

✅ Free tools and guided BeMo Practices
✅ Behind-the-scenes insights and community conversations
✅ Access to live journaling events and replays
✅ A space where growth is honored, and you don’t have to carry it alone

Join the BeMo Community → Get live guided BeMo Practice sessions FREE every month

A space for self-discovery, emotional growth, and grounded connection — one journal entry at a time.

Because healing shouldn’t be lonely.
And you were never meant to carry all of this by yourself.

Leave a comment